Thank You, Next


Yeah, this one is pretty ugly too, so let’s slog through.

16. You Oughta Know -Alanis Morrissette (Jagged Little Pill, 1995, Maverick and Reprise)

I don’t like this song, though I suppose I did the first couple of times I heard it. Then it was several hundred more times, and several hundred more after that, and I do not like it. There are songs I dislike a whole lot more, but this one would never make any playlist I am making unless I have a lobotomy. Also, I have never forgiven her for writing a song about irony filled with non-ironic things, although in the end, I guess that kind of makes the song itself ironic, which was not what she was going for I don’t think.

Oh! And my favorite Alanis Morrissette-based trivia (no, not that one). She was on the straight-from-Canada-to-Nickelodeon kids’ sketch comedy show You Can’t Do That On Television as a tween. My sisters and I watched a lot of hours of that show. SLN did a spot-on parody of it a few weeks ago:

Final Verdict: No.

Replace with: Wild Thing – Liz Phair (Girly-Sound, 1991, self-released)

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17. Are You Gonna Go My Way – Lenny Kravitz (Are You Gonna Go My Way, 1993, Virgin)

This is a good song. I will leave as is.

Are You Gonna Go My Way – Lenny Kravitz (Are You Gonna Go My Way, 1993, Virgin)

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18. All the Small Things – Blink 182 (Enema of the State [witty], 1999, MCA Records)

There were five to ten of these bands in the late 90s that I would not be able to tell apart with a gun to my head and none of them are good. I listened to this whole playlist while I worked over the past few days just to be thorough, and I can confirm that this song is not good.

Final Verdict: No. I could be a smart ass and write it 182 times, but I think too highly of you to have you waste any more seconds of your life on this band.

Replace with: All Your Experiments – Elf Power (Vainly Clutching at Phantom Limbs, 1995, Arena Rock Recording)

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19. Sabotage – Beastie Boys (Ill Communication, 1994, Capitol)

I have given up on the but-they-were-popular-in-the-80s argument. I mean they were, but whatever. I mean, they did form in 1981, and Licensed to Ill came out in 1986, but we will carry on. It’s a good song.

Final Verdict: Good song. It stays.

Sabotage – Beastie Boys (Ill Communication, 1994, Capitol)

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20. Firestarter – The Prodigy (The Fat of the Land, 1997, Maverick)

I did not know what this song was until I played it, and of course, it is instantly recognizable. I was not a club kid by any stretch of the imagination, but on the times that I did (a handful of times when I lived in Portland, Maine and another handful of times when I lived in Philadelphia), this song was certainly played. I don’t don’t like it. I wouldn’t listen to it every day, but I am feeling generous, and the commenters on YouTube live for this song, so I will leave it.

Final Verdict: Staying, with a sort of ambivalence, but as you have probably noticed, when I don’t like something, I am pretty clear about it. For the record, I think the singer in the music video looks moronic, but maybe that was what he was going for. Also, I looked moronic a lot in the 90s too. And the aughts, and so on.

Firestarter – The Prodigy (The Fat of the Land, 1997, Maverick)

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21. Glycerine – Bush (Sixteen Stone, 1994, Interscope)

No. I can’t get behind this band. I think they are at best meh. Kind of like Coldplay, like maybe you could catch yourself liking a song or two, but then just feel embarrassed about it. Their songs are boring, and there are far too many great ones out there to waste time on this horse shit.

Final Verdict: Horse shit.

Replace with: Holland, 1945 – Neutral Milk Hotel (In the Aeroplane Over the Sea, 1998, Merge)

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22. Today – Smashing Pumpkins (Siamese Dream, 1993, Virgin)

No, this band is boring.

Final Verdict: No.

Replace with: Truly Great Thing – Sebadoh (III, 1991, Homestead)

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23. Everlong – Foo Fighters (The Color and Shape, 1997, Roswell Records)

You already know from the first song that I don’t like the Foo Fighters, though I have not heard all of their songs. I do like the song Times Like These, but I don’t like this one.

Final Verdict: No, sadly. Really truly, I admire Dave Grohl quite a bit.

Replace with: Styrofoam Boots – Modest Mouse (The Lonesome Crowded West, 1997, Up)

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24. My Own Worse Enemy – Lit (A Place in the Sun, 1999, RCA Records)

Another song and band I do not remember having heard of before, but I can see why this song hates itself.

Final Verdict: No.

Replace with: A Minor Place – Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billie (I See a Darkness, 1999, Palace)

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25. Come as You Are – Nirvana

Yes, I don’t want to be too hard on this album. It deserves acclaim.

Final Verdict: Yes, good song.

Come as You Are – Nirvana (Nevermind, 1991, DCG)

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Scope & Horror

dedicated to votaries of the absurd, beautiful, miserable, and suspicious
2022

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