Category: Phrase & Fables
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The Motherload
Scope & Horror and Your Bitcoin BMI merging
Hello! As you can probably see, this page is kind of a mess right now as I attempt to mash these blogs together (decided to throw my cartoons in there too for good measure). The scope & horror will now also encompass self-help!
Thanks for your patience whilst I reorganize
For Now,
tell em large marge sent ya
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Thank You, Next
Scope &
Horror
Yeah, this one is pretty ugly too, so let’s slog through.
16. You Oughta Know -Alanis Morrissette (Jagged Little Pill, 1995, Maverick and Reprise)
I don’t like this song, though I suppose I did the first couple of times I heard it. Then it was several hundred more times, and several hundred more after that, and I do not like it. There are songs I dislike a whole lot more, but this one would never make any playlist I am making unless I have a lobotomy. Also, I have never forgiven her for writing a song about irony filled with non-ironic things, although in the end, I guess that kind of makes the song itself ironic, which was not what she was going for I don’t think.
Oh! And my favorite Alanis Morrissette-based trivia (no, not that one). She was on the straight-from-Canada-to-Nickelodeon kids’ sketch comedy show You Can’t Do That On Television as a tween. My sisters and I watched a lot of hours of that show. SLN did a spot-on parody of it a few weeks ago:
Final Verdict: No.
Replace with: Wild Thing – Liz Phair (Girly-Sound, 1991, self-released)
17. Are You Gonna Go My Way – Lenny Kravitz (Are You Gonna Go My Way, 1993, Virgin)
This is a good song. I will leave as is.
Are You Gonna Go My Way – Lenny Kravitz (Are You Gonna Go My Way, 1993, Virgin)
18. All the Small Things – Blink 182 (Enema of the State [witty], 1999, MCA Records)
There were five to ten of these bands in the late 90s that I would not be able to tell apart with a gun to my head and none of them are good. I listened to this whole playlist while I worked over the past few days just to be thorough, and I can confirm that this song is not good.
Final Verdict: No. I could be a smart ass and write it 182 times, but I think too highly of you to have you waste any more seconds of your life on this band.
Replace with: All Your Experiments – Elf Power (Vainly Clutching at Phantom Limbs, 1995, Arena Rock Recording)
19. Sabotage – Beastie Boys (Ill Communication, 1994, Capitol)
I have given up on the but-they-were-popular-in-the-80s argument. I mean they were, but whatever. I mean, they did form in 1981, and Licensed to Ill came out in 1986, but we will carry on. It’s a good song.
Final Verdict: Good song. It stays.
Sabotage – Beastie Boys (Ill Communication, 1994, Capitol)
20. Firestarter – The Prodigy (The Fat of the Land, 1997, Maverick)
I did not know what this song was until I played it, and of course, it is instantly recognizable. I was not a club kid by any stretch of the imagination, but on the times that I did (a handful of times when I lived in Portland, Maine and another handful of times when I lived in Philadelphia), this song was certainly played. I don’t don’t like it. I wouldn’t listen to it every day, but I am feeling generous, and the commenters on YouTube live for this song, so I will leave it.
Final Verdict: Staying, with a sort of ambivalence, but as you have probably noticed, when I don’t like something, I am pretty clear about it. For the record, I think the singer in the music video looks moronic, but maybe that was what he was going for. Also, I looked moronic a lot in the 90s too. And the aughts, and so on.
Firestarter – The Prodigy (The Fat of the Land, 1997, Maverick)
21. Glycerine – Bush (Sixteen Stone, 1994, Interscope)
No. I can’t get behind this band. I think they are at best meh. Kind of like Coldplay, like maybe you could catch yourself liking a song or two, but then just feel embarrassed about it. Their songs are boring, and there are far too many great ones out there to waste time on this horse shit.
Final Verdict: Horse shit.
Replace with: Holland, 1945 – Neutral Milk Hotel (In the Aeroplane Over the Sea, 1998, Merge)
22. Today – Smashing Pumpkins (Siamese Dream, 1993, Virgin)
No, this band is boring.
Final Verdict: No.
Replace with: Truly Great Thing – Sebadoh (III, 1991, Homestead)
23. Everlong – Foo Fighters (The Color and Shape, 1997, Roswell Records)
You already know from the first song that I don’t like the Foo Fighters, though I have not heard all of their songs. I do like the song Times Like These, but I don’t like this one.
Final Verdict: No, sadly. Really truly, I admire Dave Grohl quite a bit.
Replace with: Styrofoam Boots – Modest Mouse (The Lonesome Crowded West, 1997, Up)
24. My Own Worse Enemy – Lit (A Place in the Sun, 1999, RCA Records)
Another song and band I do not remember having heard of before, but I can see why this song hates itself.
Final Verdict: No.
Replace with: A Minor Place – Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billie (I See a Darkness, 1999, Palace)
25. Come as You Are – Nirvana
Yes, I don’t want to be too hard on this album. It deserves acclaim.
Final Verdict: Yes, good song.
Come as You Are – Nirvana (Nevermind, 1991, DCG)
Scope & Horror
dedicated to votaries of the absurd, beautiful, miserable, and suspicious
2022
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Your Weight on the Moon
There are so many more to go, but let’s wrap up this portion already.
I am just going to be out with it. I can’t stand Sublime. Have you ever seen the movie Clue? I hope so, and if not go watch it and come back. It’s worth it. Tim Curry is a national treasure (not ours, but whatever). So you know the scene when Madeline Kahn is describing how much she hates Yvette? That’s how I feel about Sublime.11. Losing My Religion – R.E.M.
JFC. We covered this with yesterday’s U2 entry, but why are these massively popular 80s bands on here??? I like R.E.M., they’re great – wait, did they sing Shiny Happy People? Because that song is surely played in hell. That song is terrible. But off the top of my head Orange Crush, It’s the End of the World, Pop Song 89, What’s the Frequency Kenneth, Drive, Stand. I like all of those songs. A lot even.
But they were not alternative music. Maybe they are included because they came out of Athens, GA
and clearly they are important in the history of the genre, but they had six albums in the 1980s and were with a major record label.
They were not an alternative to anything in the 1990s.
If you were wondering, I do not like this song, but I suppose you could have guessed that.
Replace: 50 Pieces – Andrew Bird (Thrills,1998, Ryko)
12. The Way – Fastball
I have never heard of this song or this band, but it is the late 90s hit apparently, and I was super busy in college, so you can understand. I did listen to it though as part of this review.
Final Verdict: Come on, is this a joke?
Replace: Destination Venus – Man or Astroman? (Your Weight on the Moon,1994, One Louder)
13. Sex & Candy – Marcy Playground
I genuinely like this song. So did my freshman college roommate, and I owe her this one (if you want to read the comments on the Colby College Radio post, you can see why). You’ll hear more about her later when we get to 311.
Final Verdict: It stays. Sex & Candy – Marcy Playground (Marcy Playground, 1997, Capital)
14. Santeria – Sublime
Final Verdict: No.
Replace: Room 429 – Cop Shoot Cop (Ask Questions Later, 1993, Big Cat & Interscope Records)
15. Wonderwall – Oasis
Get real.
Final Verdict: I think we know each other well enough by now that you know the answer to this.
Replace: Girls & Boys – Blur (Parklife, 1994, Food)
I didn’t like Blur in the 90s but my radio cohost Kristina did. I texted her in 2021 apologizing and admitting I was wrong. I will stand by my dislike of The Smiths. I know that is blasphemy in some circles, but it’s okay. Anything that makes Morrissey cry will just make him stronger.
I shall return soon.
Go in peace.
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When Colby College Let 10th Graders Take Over Their Radio Station
Also known as our time without Pearl Jam
Kristina and I at just about the same age and maturity level that we had when someone decided it was fine to let us take over the local airwaves in Waterville, Maine for hours a week for many months. It was a magical time.
WMHB, Mayflower Broadcasting, Waterville, Maine 10. Jeremy – Pearl Jam (Ten, 1991, Epic) From the album Ten – do you think Apple did that on purpose?
For a handful of years in the mid-1990s, the good people at Colby College in Waterville, Maine thought it fit to give me and my best friend Kristina access to the airwaves for far more weekly hours than was probably prudent. We gladly snapped up all kinds of hours they couldn’t otherwise find college students willing to sober up for. It helped that Kristina lived right next to the college, and we could arrive after a less than 5 minute walk given I do not believe either of us drove yet.
The summer before our junior year in high school, I believe we had two separate radio shows (during daytime hours even!). One was called Rasputin’s Diner and the other was The Mike the Bird Show (the back story to that title is long and tedious, so don’t worry about it).
Both shows instituted a strictly enforced no-Pearl-Jam policy with pretty much the sole intention of pissing off college students. I mean, you can imagine the student body in the mid-90s, yes? A very crunchy, largely white, liberal arts school in the middle of Central Maine. You can imagine how that went over, yes? [ed. I need to make it clearer that we also wrote this into the promos for our show. As all shows had to promote each other during their own segments, such promos had to be read by other DJs, probably several times a day, for many, many, many weeks. I am sure it greatly increased our listener base].
I am sure I will tell more tales of our radio shows as I get further into this playlist, but for now, let me just put out a blanket apology to anyone who was employed at the Colby College bookstore, or anywhere else on campus that that was hardwired into the station at all hours of the day, and you were forced to listen to us while attempting to earn a living. I mean we usually played good music I think, but we also spent a great deal of airtime making pithy skits such as fake interviews with Jesus Jones, and one Saturday we played the 1:21 second song I’m Gay from the Kids in the Hall Braincandy soundtrack like no joke 30 times in a row until we probably peed our pants laughing (it happened sometimes). Actually, I am completely alone while I write this, and I am still laughing about it.
Anyway, so we largely resented Pearl Jam fans and the whole concept of making a culture change around a single city none of us have ever been to and don’t plan to go to that had nothing really to do with the band itself. I don’t believe Kristina liked them very much. I thought this album was good but never pursued the interest beyond this one. It’s starting to sound insincere, but I never liked this song. I do like the song Alive though, it is on some of my current playlists even.
Final Verdict: Sorry, this one is a no.
Instead: We All Die – Cat Power (Myra Lee, 1996, Smells Like Records)
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On Chaos
The inside of my head is a chaotic, messy place. For example, for almost zero reasons, I have spent the last ten months learning Spanish and Japanese. I have two blogs here on WordPress, this one and scopeandhorror.com, and have not figured out a way to bring them together in one place cohesively (taking suggestions). I am going to move this URL to direct both blogs to scopeandhorror.com so if you would like to keep subscribing (and I very much hope you do), please sign up there too, pretty pleasest?
Look, I know I am currently posting two very different blogs, and all of my posts on this one lately are explicitly not on theme, but you will have to bear with me because I have had zero interest in running with the original premise of this one and I haven’t figured out a way to bring them together in one place cohesively (taking suggestions). Plus the Bitcoin BMI quiz I am working on but is not done is objectively amazing.
xoxo
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Wealth Management
Stop wasting money at the horse races, casinos, and the lottery. The financial step you have been missing!
A Friend in Need (1903) Cassius Marcellus Coolidge Love the rush of gambling but don’t want to leave the comfort of home? No, not online gambling. There’s a better way to get that hit of adrenaline!
A caution to all though, this is not a beginners’ level tip here. But when you have financial organization and foresight like I do, it’s really quite simple:
*Set all your bills up on autopay
*Never learn/forget the withdrawal dates
*and roll the dice!
Every day is a day at Cesar’s Palace with this hot tip! Will you make it ’til payday or will you wake up to a negative balance? Only time will tell! Stay lucky!
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Estate Planning Planning
I promise Choosing the Hill You Will Die On is almost done and will be posted soon. I have to say it is something of a magnum opus, and I have been cracking myself up with my own jokes all weekend.
Until Then and Most Respectfully,
Bit Bot
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I Hate the Internet
I don’t know what google news algorithm I have fallen into, but surely this is not the first thing it thinks I want to see on Sunday morning, and if so, where do I go from here?
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Mistakes Were Made
John Mayer
John Mayer is infinitely worse.
I apologize to Mr. Perry and to Mr. McConaughey, all past, present, and future members of Rush, and to anyone else I may have offended.
The infinitely punchable visage John Mayer. From WJS
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